just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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