We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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