we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
