You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
