do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
