420 ftw
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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