Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Come see our sink grown plant.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
