shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
