IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
