Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
