I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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