toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
