At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
