First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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