I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
