Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
