i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
