Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will pee on everything he values.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
