that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
