My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
