Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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