I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
