drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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