I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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