cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
worst night to have a conscience
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
