no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
