had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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