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I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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