I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
