Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
pop tarts are not kleenex
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
