I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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