sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
