Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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