Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
His nipple licking is glorious
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