saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
