Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
