all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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