My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
