I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
