Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
