That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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