you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
