sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
