Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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