Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
