the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
