I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
