Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize