nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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