I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
