Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
where am i from again
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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