Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
