Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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