my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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